My past has a funny way on catching up with me, when it hits me it hits hard, all at once, memories keep rushing back, memories of places but mostly memories of people I once knew.
I used to think of how good friends I could be with them, but it wasn't long until it all went to hell because some of us can't let go of things and others think that life is simple and it's not worth complicating it. Well, news flash, life is not easy, never was, never will be, it's not complicated - it's just complex, with so many aspects that sometimes it's hard to keep track of.
If we keep thinking that life is easy we may lose control of some aspects, vital aspects.
I met some people who used to ask me for help and I was more than happy to help them, people with whom friendships did not last, people I liked very much and imagined being good fiends with but it never crossed my mind that soon it might be all gone.
I blame myself for letting them in my life, I blame them for screwing with my head, I blame them for not getting to know me better because of how little they knew me, I am much more but I guess they weren't patient enough to find that out. I have flaws but who doesn't ?
I remember them saying mean things and not regretting not one moment saying them and then I think of me, if I say mean things I have a good damned reason for that, if I say means things it means I thought dozens of times before saying them so later I won't have any regrets.
I wish I never met those people, I am that unforgiving, the "forgiving" part of my brains has been malfunctioning for quite some time now and I guess I'm easy hurt, but also it means that I know the true meaning of words and I know of how much they can hurt once said, I know how intense some things can be once done, how destructive they can be, that's why I think more than twice before saying of doing something. Sometimes I would you to do as well.
This is it for now, this articles may be updated as all my thoughts don't come all at once.
thanks :) make sure to come back from time to time :)
ReplyDeleteI regret meeting people in my life too. Sometimes I get flashbacks and it feels like it happened yesterday. It pisses me off. I hope to God I never run into any of them out in public. I know some of them aren't near me thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteI made mistakes and I reap the consequences of being betrayed by assholes. I don't wish them well. I don't care about them. I pretend that I never knew them to help me forget them.
Wow, the best comment I've read in ages, thank you for that and I totally agree with you, I feel the same way, it's like the ground is moving underneath me, it's the worst, and I also hope all the time that I don't run into them. some of them want back in my life but considering what I went through I don't think I'm gonna let them in again. Again, thanks and hope to read more awesome comments from you.
Deletemissed you yesterday.. had to blow my laptop clean and start over.. i've emailed you,
ReplyDeleteFind me on skype CjBsAngel We have WORK to do.. LIfe is happily happening ! keep the faith, Take out the "trash" or "excess baggage" that bring you down.. I here, and waiting.. for you go help me get you on a "ride:" or "flight" to your life!
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