Being Different Seen As A Crime | The Bully Project

Dare-to-be-DifferentThere is a documentary I've been dying to watch for almost a year now. Ever since I watched the trailer for this highly acclaimed documentary I've been on the edge of my seat because this is the one that actually might get things moving towards a bigger change, desired across the world, not just US. From its very first seconds I felt all the weight that is was carrying, so many emotions, so much pain, and so such disgust towards some actions that shouldn't have been tolerated in the first place. It pains me to see people acting like certain things are normal to happen, so many bystanders who couldn't care less. I guess everyone is for himself, first they care for themselves, and if there is any time left they will consider thinking about other people.

Bully, tells the story of several kids, a drop in the ocean, who were abused verbally and physically, or the latest term - bullied, millions of kids fall victims to bullies, no matter how hard some of them fight for their lives some end up committing suicide and leave us, the living, suffering. I'm not condoning them, not blamming them, just wish somebody would've been there to have heard them so today they would be among us.
Among the first things that I got to notice is that they are all different, good different but they got treated like crap, they were pushed aside. It was told to them loud and clear that being different is not acceptable, nor tolerable.

10748380-large Alex. Early in the morning when he was getting ready to go to school I felt his anxiety, felt it like it was chocking me and I realized it must have been hundred times worse for him. My schools days are over, I'm still bullied whenever I take a walk downtown, but it's not as bad as it was when I still was in school. Can't say I've survived bullying 'cause it still hurts, I have huge scars on my soul, I'll always remember how cruel some kids were and how they are the same even after five years since I've graduated high-school. Thing are different if we dare to compare my country and United States, yet still I am appalled that bullying is a phenomenon that got out of hands in the land where democracy knew its culmination. We would assume that something like shouldn't have happened and yet with some extreme carelessness it rose to some dangerous levels. It got out of hands and now it's time to unite and work all together to eradicate this once and for all. Alex and other kids should feel welcomed, safe and accepted for what they are. Seeing little kids telling that they heart are breaking when somebody is being mean, violent and really ugly to them it makes my heart break. It makes me feel powerless, useless, weak, unsafe and many other things that none of us should ever feel. "People think that I am different, that I am not normal. Most kids don't wanna be around me. I feel like I belong somewhere else" with extreme sadness and pain Alex tells us.

bully-kelby1-532x299Kelby. With a smile on her face trying as hard as she can to cover deep scars and awful memories tells us "you can always count on it happening when you walk in hall at school, and in the classroom, after school when I am walking home, when I am walking to the parking lot, walking in the mornings to school, I wasn't welcomed to church, I am not welcomed to a lot of people's homes" it hurts bad. Nothing else to say. There aren't enough words in the whole world to express the sadness. But why is she treated that way? She lives in a small town where people happen to be really narrow minded, extremely judgmental and often cruel. Kelby (at the time of filming) was a 16 year-old transgender, something I can't understand but it doesn't mean I get to be cruel and act violently and make her feel miserable and sick and unwelcome. "We were walking back from launch and these guys, there was probably six older guys and they were driving in their mom's minivan. I was going to find out what the problem was so I kinda walked on the road and instead of slowing down or stopping they talked to me, spit up and I flew onto the windshield. I couldn't have got hit by you know something cool like a jeep or something I got hit by a minivan." I didn't know what to do, laugh or cry. I praise her for knowing to cope with that, a good defense mechanism but why should a child have defensive mechanisms? Why should a child feel unprotected?

bully3_2225848bJa'meya. A 14 year-old girl bullied and pushed to her breaking points. One morning she took her mom's gun and went to the school , when on the school bus she finally snapped and the only way she could feel safe was to take that gun and scare her bullies away, scare them so they would never touch her again, never say things to her ever again. By a miracle no one was hurt, scared but not hurt. When her mom got the call she felt like the world was coming crashing down, her daughter made something unthinkable and was about to be charged with multiple counts of kidnapping and multiple counts of attempted aggravated assault. Ja'meya was sent to the hospital to be treated as she was deeply traumatized traumatized by the bullies who were picking on her on a daily basis and ho were abusing her making her feel like she wants to die.
Luckily the judge on her case was more than kind and dropped all charges but ordered for her to be hospitalized and again, he was kind of enough to leave it to doctors' discretion to decide the length of Ja'meya''s treatment. It's clear that it could've gone the other way and that would've have ended up on a permanent juvenile record. Hope her life changed after that, hope she's ok now. Best wishes to her and her family.
Alex, Kelby and Ja'meya are the really lucky ones.  

Tyler-LongTyler Long was a lot less lucky, he couldn't take it anymore. At the age of 17 he decided to leave this world. His parents promised to themselves that their voice will not fall silent, they will keep fighting until a difference is made. They will keep fighting so there wouldn't be other kids to suffer like Tyler did. Tyler's memory will live beyond the day he left and wherever he is now he's also fighting to make a change.
From ABC News: "On October 17th, 2009, 17-year-old Tyler Long had had enough. After years of alleged bullying at the hands of classmates in his Murray County, Ga., school system, Tyler had gone from a fun-loving child to what his parents say was just a shell of the boy they once knew.
"They took his pride from him," said his father, David Long. "He was a hollow person."

Tyler had Asperger's Syndrome, a form of autism that his parents say left him with unique personality traits unpopular with his classmates. His mother, Tina Long, said Tyler was very rule oriented as a result of Asperger's and frequently reminded his classmates of the regulations they were violating.
"If someone was talking in class, I know that he would say, 'You know we're not supposed to be talking. That's the rule,'" Tina said. His parents said that irritated his classmates, that Tyler was different to them and thus a target. "They would take his things from him, spit in his food, call him 'gay, faggot'," Long said. "One day to the next, it was continuous harassment from the other kids in the classroom." His parents said they complained to school authorities about the pattern of bullying early on, but no action was taken. "'Boys will be boys'," was the response Long said he got from school officials. "'How can I stop every kid from saying things that shouldn't be said? What do you want me to do Mr. and Mrs. Long? I've done all I can.'"" Read the full story here.

I hope you all buy the DVD when it comes out in February of 2013. I hope you all watch this amazing documentary. It's a strong documentary meant to make a big impact, slow down this plague and eventually stop it for good. No parent should suffer the loss of their child. No parent should feel hopeless. On my last post about stopping this phenomenon I was saying "A life without bullying is a beautiful life, let’s make it happen. I won’t live that long to see the day when there won’t be any anguished souls, no pain caused by mean people, no tears, no screaming, no crying out for help in the middle of nowhere, no solitude, no desperation, no going crazy and no wishing to die. You don’t want to be bullied and if you never were bullied don’t let that happen to others, but if it’s happening give them a hand and take a stand against bullying, defend them and be their hero, everybody needs a hero in their lives, be theirs, protect them and take special care, and someday they’ll get to be somebody else’s hero."

I'll wrap it here and when I'll go to sleep I'll wish for less and less and less kids to be bullied so they all could stand a chance at living a full life without any regrets. Everybody deserve to live a decent life. Everybody deserves to be happy.

Take a stand, stop bullying.

Be kind to one another and someday you may get to change a life for the better.

I Got Screwed By Empathy

I began writing this post yesterday, but the only thing I wrote was the title "I Got Screwed By Empathy", the thing is that I am an empath, without any doubts I'm probably one of the biggest empaths ever born and I really hate it, I feel whatever other people around me feel, if they're angry I am angry, if they cry I cry, if they're happy I am happy, so even in the best scenario for me to be happy I gotta meet happy people or make them happy so in the end I could be a little bit happy too. For the empaths, or to talk about me in particular, the happiness depends on others. The thing about feeling what others feel is that I feel what they feel tenfold or even more than that. It hurts to feel what others feel, it's very tiring, it sucks the life out of you, even the last bit that is left. 

I'm in a hell hole I might never get out of, most people would simply accept their faith and give up, I kinda of gave up too but still there are battles inside of me telling me that the war is far from being over and there is a glimpse of light and hope that I might win this war, but at the same time I can't help but wonder about ways to turn my life around and finally be happy without looking for happy people to be happy myself.

There is so much misery around me, there are so many unhappy people that it makes me sad and depressed, every day I see stories about kids who live in poor conditions, some of them doing their homework at the light of a candle, others having to sleep under dozens of blankets because they can't afford heat, or even worse they're all hungry because their parents are so poor they can't buy food to feed their children and here I am complaining that I can't find a life purpose. It's killing me, piece by piece, that there is nothing I can do to help those poor kids, hunger, cold and thirst are things that no child should ever know. 

There are so many rich people who every day are doing their best to come up with a new definition of what selfishness is. For them only the sky is the limit when it comes to being selfish. I can't help but despise them, I have no idea how well are they sleeping at night when there are so many people in a desperate need. Life is cruel, wanna know how I figured that? It's very simple, there are people who wanna help but can't and there are tons of people who can help but choose not to. The second kind is simply the worst.

Well anyways, I might add things later but for now I hate being an empath and I wish very much that I never was one. Being empathetic is not a bad thing, but right now, it hurts more than it does good, right now for me it's no good at all being an empath. 

Are you an empath?

What are your actions related to being an empath?

If you could change that, would you be something else but an empath?

Christmas Songs for a Christmas Atmosphere

This post is going to be the first one out of the twelve Christmas posts, even if we're one day away from winter officially claiming its rights I am like an impatient little kid who stands by the window waiting for Santa to come riding his carriage pulled by the well-known reindeers.

I already hanged my Christmas lights on my window telling Santa that I'm one of the very first kids waiting for him to come and leave present under my Christmas tree, thought I am not a kid anymore, pulling twenty in the next July I'll always have a little kids inside of me just for him.

Setting the Christmas stage is not that difficult. Hang some Christmas lights, bring a Christmas tree, decorate it with your loved ones, while doing it play some Christmas songs. In the evening have a cup of hot chocolate, again with your loved ones. But if you're alone invite your friends, their are good companions and don't mind if they bring some food and a good mood. Watch together a good old fashion movie about Christmas and I may have some suggestions but more about that later in the post. Everyone of us should have a Christmas tradition, I have mine and it has already started. Besides setting me into a good mood these Christmas lights are really nice to look at. Around Christmas on 25th I watch the classics which for me are Die Hard, first movie and of course the second one, same applies to Home Alone, first and second movie. 

But what about music?

If last year I recommended you songs from Michael Buble this year we will be going way back, right to Frank Sinatra, don't know why I haven't thought of him in the past years, but hey, it hasn't been that long since I've started blogging in english.

So ladies and gentlemen, here is the music that is stubborn enough not to age, the music that will never leave our homes on Christmas holidays. This is the music that somebody pointed out will make us feel as if we were born in the wrong century. Without any doubts I would have grown up a happy kid while listening to Frank Sinatra's music, and not only to his Christmas songs. 

Knock yourselves out. 

But oh my god, let's not forget about Michael Buble. Although we cannot compare him to Frank Sinatra I would like to think of him as the Frank Sinatra of our century.

I'm simply melting, leave this page in the background while dining with your family, leave it in the background while decorating your Christmas tree or while dancing, this music is good for everything you might be doing in the spirit of these amazing holidays that most people seemed to lengthen from a few days to an entire month and they didn't do anything wrong by doing that.

So, have a Merry Little Christmas and wait for my next post but until then ...

... be kind to one another and by doing that you might change a life. 

Thoughts That Go Through My Mind

In the following minutes I will try to write every single thing that goes through my mind. I am staring at this text editor and I forgot how it looks since the last time I used it. It's been a long time and in this rhythm I will bleed every single reader I have left but I don't care, since I am in pain almost the entire time I wouldn't be interested either in reading depressing posts that would make me kill myself. So, every reader seeking interesting posts to read stumbled upon this piece of ... work wants to leave so be it. I am not god at making people do stuff, I can advise them but most certainly not obligate them do stuff that they don't want to do.

Man, this tooth ache is a bitch, it's been going on for hours, on a scale from 1 to 10 it's a certain 7, bearable but it's more than enough that if it won't go away in the next few hours I'll go crazy, or to be more exact I'll come closer to what people call certifiably nuts. Generally speaking, on that very same scale, pain is always a seven, and it doesn't matter if it's physical or spiritual. Of course there are tons of moments when it's more than a seven, but for now there is a person in my life, my best friend who in a miraculous way manages to bring me to a five, my pain doesn't go lower than a five, yet it's more that I could have hopped for. Considering what I've gone through and am still going through I'd be happy to be on a five for the rest of my life. Life is pain, I have never known a person who didn't know pain, many of us have our own definitions but in the end we all feel pain. 

This time I won't be so concerned about this post looking perfect yet old habits die hard, I will read the same sentence dozens of times and see if it sounds good to my internal ear, see if it's close to perfection, usually I set the text alignment to "justify", this time I won't be doing that, don't know why, usually it matter to me, now it simply does not, perhaps it's because very few people will get the patience to read it and even fewer will have any patience left to write down a comment saying "I Feel for you", "I'm here for you" or "How can I help". It would be cruel to myself to kid myself that through this blog I will achieve anything but today I had a revelation, one of the many reasons of why I kept blogging is to find my person, and a few months back I succeeded, "succeeded" a word I never thought I'd say yet it happened, I succeed at finding that person, I found her, she found me, we both found each other, we depend on each other, sometimes it's rather amazing, but other times we're both aching as life doesn't treat us well, and as much as it kills us we can't do anything to change that, with no doubts or whatsoever, I am strongly convinced that we deserve to be acknowledged and be awarded for our constant and ruthless fights against those loads of pain that the people who are supposed to protect us send in our ways. 

She doesn't hate her enemies, I hate mine, I've got so good at hating people that I have enough hate for her enemies as well, I do not wish them well and whenever something bad happens to my enemies I am a little bit happy, but of course I am only human and I feel bad for them too, but that bit of joy and happiness will never go away, and I will smile inside, only for me to see and feel. Karma's a bitch, I love karma, I wish she'd visit me more often as I think I've done a lot of good deeds and will not ever stop doing good deeds but I'd like to be rewarded in some ways, even with money, why not, saying that I wouldn't take money it would be lying and I hate liars. I may not say the entire truth, but lying? No way in hell. 

I'm in pain, I know I already said that but I am in pain, my teeth hurt, my left knee hurts, earlier in the day my heart skipped a bit, and if not all that my soul hurts 'cause I've got one, but I'd rather sell it, it doesn't do any good to me. 

I am a garden, dreams come out of me, they're green, they feed off the sun and rain, I like rain, I used to hate it, I used to be scared of big thunderstorms but now I love them, but back to being a garden, but there are people in my life who act as big rusty bulldozers who only have one aim, to crush my dreams before they hit maturity. Kinda getting tired of dreaming but I know that it's in my DNA, there is nothing I can do about that. Most of the time dreaming is all I have, most of the time dreaming is my morphine. But sometimes is that pain I am so busy getting rid off. 

Oh life. I don't want you, and yet I want you. I don't wanna live, and yet I don't wanna die, I'm scared to die, yet I'm scared to live. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week I am scared, and helpless, and useless, and feeling sorry for myself,  I have almost lived a quarter of a century and compared to some life spans I've lived a third of a life, and I've done nothing for the humanity, this world is a bad place to live and I wanna change that but there isn't anything I can do. 

My DNA embeds all the wrong characteristics for this time, for this space, for this country, for this part of the world, for these parents, for this house. 

About house, every time I think of this word it hits me that there is a certain difference between house and home, although my entire life I had a roof over my had I never had a home where I felt protected, I had a house where I felt neglected, unwanted and upset. I think I am the youngest kid ever in this family to feel the desire to die, I remember being little and banging my head against the wall after my brother kept harassing me, and while crying I used to say that I don't wanna live, but should a kid know what life and death means at a such young age?

Every now and then I see the pain of others, I see little kids aching, I see pain that even adults fall victims to, I see pain that is barely bearable, and they say such words that I am amazed and conflicted at the same time. They're little geniuses and philosophers and they deserve a loving family, loyal friends and normal living conditions no more studying under the candle light, bearing the cold that gets through the cold walls and endure hunger 'cause the don't have anything to eat, I wanna help them out but I am no one, it kills me that there are thousands of people around the globe who keep doing stupid things and spending money on useless stuff while millions of people bear hunger and thirst. I'll give you a few examples: Kim Kardashian, Roman Abramovich, Mark Cuban. 

If, in a million years, I get to be a millionaire and live against the beliefs I have at these moments please kill me. 

Everyday going to sleep I have one wish, to fall into a deep coma and never wake up, and for my organs to be donated to kids, that way I'll get to live through them. 

The following is addressed to a special someone, she knows who's that person. 

Hey, if you're reading this piece of article don't get sad, at least not very sad, just a little, I'm sorry that a part of your happiness depends on me, and I'm sorry that a piece of my happiness depends on you, and I don't know if I will ever get through all this but if I do, I promise to keep you close by, you are the closest thing that comes to a great companion for my journey. I'm sorry this is not a perfect world, but if it were I'd take you far away from the people who have hurt you so many times and so deep, once you asked me what would you do if you were omnipotent, well, if I were omnipotent I'd take you out of there, take you and other friends of mine with whom we share life similarities, build a house and name it "The Central Perk", I know you would love that, I know you that much. That house would signify our second take to a great life, start, literally start from that house and who knows where life would lead us from there, but I'd sleep a lot better knowing that we stood a real chance.

Don't know what else to say so I'll leave it just that. 

See you next time, whenever that will be. 

Be kind to one another and maybe you'll get to change a life.


Choosing this image was appropriate because it signifies a road going somewhere, that right now I am on a road that's going somewhere, I'm not at the bus stop anymore, I'm not in the waiting anymore and that's a good thing, I've been waiting for a change for years now and even if that change didn't occur yet there are signs that it will do so and that's going to be soon. There is a person in my life, who in a very short time managed to bring so much happiness in my life I couldn't even imagine that it was possible, she succeeded in things others didn't and I can't be more thankful.

Overall the story of my life couldn't not be more sad, living in a broken family where lying, manipulating and blackmailing prevails, where everybody screams at each other and name calling is a normal thing I used to think that I don't have any options left, that I have used all my chances at having a normal life far away from all this sadness and despair, far away where I could start all over. But that has changed a few days ago.

As I mentioned there is one person, among the very few other, who has faith in me, who believes in me like no one, not either my parents, believed in me ever before. She's my best friend now and we are there for each other as much as we can, we're thousands of miles away but this the kind of friendship you only read in books about but few of us get to experience.

I almost have lost all hope when she pulled me back to life. Thanks to her:
  • things started to change for the better, something like this hasn't happened since I dropped out of uni almost 18 months ago
  • I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's not the light from the oncoming train anymore.
  • I am making plans again.
  • I can dream again
  • there is significantly less pain and depression 
  • even more than that, I am smiling more often, I might even laugh
  • no matter how hard I've been trying to see my future, see good things happening to me I couldn't do it but now I can.
  • now I can listen to sad songs and not become sad myself, it applies as well for movies and other stuff.
  • she's making my life easier to bear. 
  • thanks to her now I have OPTIONS.
Thanks to her I'm 34 steps closer to my dream coming true. I'm making plans, thinking strategies and adding tools to make sure that my project it's going to be a success.

In one of my previous posts called "Angels" I said that it doesn't happen very often when total strangers who didn't know you from before, out of the blue, did something amazing for you. Also, it doesn't happen very often for people who get to know you, land you a hand and change your life completely, and all they ask in return is to pass that kindness onto others. They ask you to pay it forward. I call this kind of people angels whom I'm thankful as they manage to restore my faith in this place called earth.

So did that person I keep telling you about, she keeps changing my life on a daily basis, today is a better day than yesterday, tomorrow is going to be even better.

Besides the many amazing things she did, like the very few I mentioned above, she donated a whooping

I couldn't see good things happening to me before, but now I do, even more than that, I see lots of good things happening to other people and all that thanks to one person. For a lot of time I was thinking that my life was not changing, that somehow I stopped living but thanks to her I am now embarked onto a whole new journey and you are all invited to join me. 

Are you going to join? 

Are you going to support me? 

Are we going to be there for each other?

It's been a long time since I've been in good spirits and I'm not going to give up on it anytime soon. With that donation she brought me closer to my dream and I can see the start of my project somewhere in the spring of 2013. 

Wanna help me bring the starting date even closer?

Wanna know what's in it for you and others ?

I'm not a person  who makes promises and doesn't keep them, I'd rather not make them at all if i don't intend to keep them, a lot of promises have been made to me and most of them have been broken. Now I must know better not to make any I don't intend to keep. 

But now I'm gonna make a few I will fight for. I solemnly promise to:
  • Donate myself for different projects once the project I wrote will start bringing revenue 
  • I promise to donate for other people in need, now I am one but soon I'm gonna stop being one
  • I donated before and I wanna do it again.
  • Help others develop their own projects that will bring them financial independence and besides that to make an impact on others
  • I've been strongly inspired by Pay It Forward culture featured in the movie with the same title and I'm gonna keep promoting through all the tools I have at hand. 
Specific to the project:
  • I can't wait to meet all the donors and potential tourists in my country
  • Make your stay as enjoyable as possible
  • Guide you and organize you professional photo shoots  throughout our most visited locations
  • Have a taste of our national cuisine, listen to our national music.
  • And simply have fun.
Now the biggest question of them all.

Ellen - Simply Inspiring!

I think I know what my Christmas wish is going to be this year. I'll wish, with no fear that my wish won't come true, that this world would come to know more people like Ellen. If only it was possible for me to steal a bit of Ellen's DNA so I could clone her at least a million times.

She most certainly is the guardian angel of all anguished souls on earth, with a simple act of kindness she can turn your life around by inspiring you to do so many things you never imagined you could do. Her reach is far beyond unimaginable. She's thousands miles away but I can feel her presence even in my darkest hours. There might not be Santa Claus, Easter Bunny or other mythical creatures but there is Ellen and that's good enough for me and for many millions of people around the globe. She will never rest until she can change lives, as many as possible.

From now on I will consider it my responsibility to bring you the most inspiring acts of kindness that she does to your attention. She makes my heart beat slower, she makes it ache less, she makes me breath easier, she makes my days brighter, she's my life support, I simply love her. She's the one person all future friends should be measured up.  She's one of the very few people who keeps restoring my faith in this world on a daily basis. All the words in the entire world won't be enough to express my gratitude towards her and how thankful i am that she exists so I'll let the following video of hers to show what she is capable of. Hope it will make you feel all the things I've been feeling ever since I've come to know her. Sit back and let her kindness flow into your heart and soul.

Now, I don't have a clue of why the comments have been disabled on YouTube but if you have anything to say you may do so right below.

Also I'd like to know a few things from you.

In what ways does she change your life?

What does she mean to you personally?

Be kind to one another and maybe you'll get to change a life. Like Ellen does.

P.S. Stay tuned for Ellen's Inspiring Videos by Subscribing in any way you like. I'm gonna make sure they reach you if you promises to stay within my reach :)