Donate

For years now I’ve been putting into questioning my worth as a human being, as growing I’ve been hearing “you’re worthless” and “you’re not worth a single thing” besides many other things I will never be able to forget. But as someone said I can’t build my future holding onto the things that happened to me or still happening to me. Other people say that is up to me to choose where I wanna go, the direction of my life, well, while having nothing and almost no one it doesn’t make to seem that way. People who care for me, even for a bit tell me that I am the one to make my own decisions well, as I said, while being alone those decisions don’t come easy.

For the past few months people who were visiting my blog were a lot nicer than all my relatives were, combined, in a year worth of time. Many of them left beautiful messages appreciating the work I’ve been doing on this blog as it is the only thing that is a proof of my existence. If I were to be asked if I have lived or existed I’d say that for the last twenty-three years I’ve had nothing but existence, I remember being abused, both verbally and physically, nothing serious but enough to leave scars for life. As any kid I’ve done mistakes, I’ve learned my lessons from each mistake but I never stopped paying the price, who knew that every mistake would cost me so much.  Someone asked me, how could I know how is it to be loved when I wasn’t loved the way every kid should be? I answered that it doesn’t apply to empathetic people as they watch others and crave for what they have and for what they didn’t have themselves. 

What I am asking here is for your time to give just a little appreciation as I find it hard to carry on without anyone noticing just for a bit that what I’m doing is of any good. For most of the time I am shy and those who know me will confirm but now I’ll take a few moments and say that I am a good kid, I have a pure heart, I’ve done good to other people, I’ve helped even if sometimes it was to my own detriment. There were very few cases when I said no, despite to what others say.  

I have dreams; we all have, but are we the only ones who can make them come true? If I’d have enough powers I’d make wishes come true every waking moment for everyone who has a pure heart and what they are wishing for would impact positively as many people as possible. Now I’ll switch for general to particular. It’s not a secret that I want to be an actor and I know that is not possible but dreaming is all I have, I’ve learned so many things from watching people act on a daily basis, giving award winning performances and giving chills to the ones that are watching. The small screen has given me the chance to learn from fiction, preventing me from doing even more mistakes than I’ve already done. I would like to offer that chance to other people, pass on the torch. This feels like déjà-vu, like I’ve already done this before. Now I have a roof over my head, it’s my parents’ but I won’t be shocked if someday they will kick my sorry ass out and there indeed will be no reason to live, I can barely find one now when I still have this blog, this computer and some internet access which won’t be here much longer as I’m running out of the money I was given ten months ago and not a penny more ever since. I’ve tried so many things but I’ve failed, give me the chance to try one more thing.

Donate a penny to make one little dream come true, I’d like to buy a pocket camera to make tones of pictures and record videos for YouTube and finally put all the inspiration I got from Charlie McDonnell into productive outcomes. I’ve been craving to do a video for quite some time but I don’t have the kind of friends who would be kind enough to let me borrow their cameras.

I’ve been walking back and forth about creating this page as people are not very big on donating, plus I’m not sure I’m making a very compelling case to be considered for donations, of any size. As someone told me ”hey, you’re not a veteran or a sick puppy, not sure if people would want to donate anything for you” and I agree, there are millions of people who are in a desperate need of financial and moral attention and I might not be one of them but I keep thinking that once being helped I’d have the chance to help others, paying forward effect, I still have inspiration from “Pay it Forward” movie where Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt and Haley Joel Osment gave outstanding performances, performances I’d like to give too someday. Here you have the entire blog for you to judge if I am worthy of your donations or not, whatever you decide I’ll respect your decision, not having my decisions paid with respect has given me perspective on not doing the same to others. 

I don’t know what else to say other than a big thank you in advance for all your kindness I’ve been deprived so early in my life by the ones who should be here for me. Don’t mind the many orthographical mistakes I’ve done as those were honest mistakes. If you should have any question please do ask as there is nothing better for me than engaging into discussions with you, and trust me, I’m not kidding.

 Also, among the many things you can donate, you can donate your time, you can donate an opinion on what you saw or read or heard, you can donate even by clicking the ads, present at the end of each article, there is a lot of way to donate, hope you find that suits you best and you'll have all my appreciation as you chose to help me change my life.

First ones to end up on Donations Hall of Fame are:

Cindy and Daniel Brickner - who so far, are the most amazing people I've got in touch with lately. I suddenly got lucky by meeting them in one of the most difficult times of my life. I won't be surprised if my luck turns around and finds me thanks to them. They just made a donation of twenty-five dollars. Thank you Cindy and Dan.